Funny when you are so close to getting something you want so bad, you start to create this inkling of hope in the back of your head that wishes otherwise. So you bandaid yourself by pulling these crazy thoughts out of thin air thinking that maybe, just maybe, you will wake up the next day feeling different. That maybe God has a better plan and will create some discrepency in yours because you didn’t know better anyway. You emotionally prepare yourself for the worst even though the worst is not even in the picture, and you find yourself investing more time in uncertainty rather than hope; not because you don’t really want it, but because you are afraid.
